


Subconscious

by orphan_account



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Closeted Character, Dreams, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2010-08-21
Updated: 2011-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-14 06:31:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/512334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of all he dreamed of the avatar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Zuko had always been a vivid dreamer throughout his life. In his childhood his dreams mostly consisted of adventure and successes, which he always delighted in telling his mother. Although his father wasn't very impressed by the skill level of his firebending, Zuko always believed that one day he would catch up to his sister and ultimately make his father proud. His mother told him that, but it also made sense. It made sense for someone who was destined to be great to work hard in order to gain respect.

Then as he got older his dreams became dark, chaotic. When he was exiled from the Fire Nation he not once dreamed of success, but of failure. He dreamed of his ship being toppled over at sea. He dreamed of he and his uncle being torn to shreds in flame, which didn't make any sense. Most of all, though, he dreamed of the avatar. He pictured an old, bald monk on a cloud slipping through his futile attempts at capturing him. He was too sly, too quick, too calm, too wise. Zuko simply didn't have the ability to catch up, and the more he had this dream, the more determined Zuko was to find and capture the avatar, even if he had to singe and scour the entire globe.

He had just about done that when he finally discovered the avatar's whereabouts in the South Pole. The bald monk on the cloud turned out to be a bald kid on a flying bison. Nevertheless, avatar Aang would haunt his every waking and sleeping thought throughout the days. Zuko was obsessed with restoring his honor, chasing something he just couldn't catch. One night in Ba Sing Se he told his uncle about this recurring dream when prodded for the umpteenth time. Iroh had caught him in the middle of a nightmare many times, and after each one he offered to lend Zuko his listening ears. Of course Zuko refused to say anything, brushing it off as nothing until it was just too much. No matter what he did he couldn't stop thinking about what a failure he was, how he was letting down his country and himself by being so weak and so powerless. It was his duty, no, his birthright to capture the avatar. It was for the good of the Fire Nation. If he was unable to fulfill his obligation to his country, his father, then he was better off dead.

"Perhaps you should take a closer look at what you are truly pursuing, nephew," said Iroh, offering Zuko a cup of calming tea to soothe his nerves. Zuko declined, rolled back over and regretted ever having said anything. It was one year since then that Zuko told Iroh about the dream again, which he was having long after he and Aang joined forces. Even after the war was over, and all was well with the world, Aang still seemed to be on the forefront of Zuko's mind. At first he chocked it up to habit, but then he took his uncle's advice and put some thought into what he was dreaming.

His life since his exile from the Fire Nation had been the pursuit of Aang in one way, or another. His first desire was to capture the avatar and turn him in to the Fire Nation to restore his honor. At the time that had been the driving force behind every ounce of strength Zuko had acquired. He would rather fight and die than face his father in shame again. Once he and his uncle had become fugitives of the Fire Nation, though, Zuko's desire to capture the avatar hadn't waned a bit. He wasn't actively pursuing Aang and his group for awhile, but Zuko was counting down the days before his opportunity to triumph came. It was foolish of him to believe a word Azula said in Ba Sing Se, though, that his honor would be restored and his father would welcome him back. It seemed Zuko's pursuit had paid off, but at what price? When he saw Aang fall and die that shattered everything he knew in a matter of seconds. He ultimately followed Azula and the others back to the Fire Nation because that was what he knew. He didn't believe anymore. His heart was empty, his words were empty, and yet he continued to pursue Aang actively in his dreams. It was wild to put so much heart into chasing a dead man.

That was, until Zuko realized that Aang wasn't dead. He was still actively fighting against the nation. His nation. The one Zuko was obligated to serve, protect, and obey as long as he breathed air and bent fire. Aang managed to come back from the dead, and it was just about then that Zuko realized that Aang was on the winning side. Also, he was on the right side. People of the world, benders and non, people of air, earth, water, and even fire, all were suffering, some were dying. Almost every bit of it could be traced back to his father somehow. This was what his uncle was trying show him. He was never meant to oppose Aang in the first place. The reason he could never catch up with Aang in his dreams was because he was running backwards the whole time. He was going in the wrong direction, serving the wrong cause, doing the wrong thing. The actions of the Fire Nation were unacceptable, and it was time for him to catch up.

When he left the Fire Nation in the correct pursuit of the avatar Zuko never had another dream about Aang. At least, not until well after the war's end. He had become preoccupied with the duty of restoring order to the Fire Nation, apologizing to the world, and trying to work up the courage to ask for Mai's hand in marriage. It was basically how his life was intended to be, so he thought, until Aang made a home in the Fire Nation with no place else to go. He taught dance and world views at the schools, and encouraged everyone to smile and have fun. Also, Zuko was talked into doing the dance of the dragon in front of a class, which everyone cheered for and tried to imitate. They would be a great generation of kids, thanks to being raised in a period of peace.

As Aang and Zuko grew closer, he and Mai grew apart. It wasn't like he intended to put his proposal off, but with life as the Fire Lord being what it was his mind and his duties were in several different places at once. After awhile that took its toll on Mai. She wasn't dependent, and she didn't ask for much, but when Zuko unintentionally allowed Aang usurp his bits of free time one too many times she decided she was no longer wanted. That was the first complication to befall Zuko's perfect new life. He tried reasoning with Mai, explaining to her that she was about as transparent as a brick wall and that he couldn't figure out whether or not she was dissatisfied if she didn't say anything. She retorted that when their lives became the occasional romp in bed and not much more that their relationship lost its substance. Zuko disagreed, but there was no getting through to her. She was somehow convinced that Aang had replaced her, and that they'd better end things before the two of them were on bad terms. She lost a friend in Azula, and Ty Lee lived on a newly restored Kiyoshi Island. In other words, Zuko was her only real friend anymore, and she refused to feel lonely with him.

He hadn't slept well for a few days, and Aang patted him on the shoulder and told him how he and Katara went through the same thing. Their relationship started off great, but when Aang played diplomat and started getting popular with the ladies, Katara became less thrilled and decided that she wanted to stay at the South Pole for awhile. They weren't permanently broken up, just on hold.

That didn't make Zuko feel remotely better. He was pretty sure that Mai had ended things between them completely, which did not bode well with Zuko in the slightest. He would have to have an heir someday, and he was generally awkward with women. That was why he liked Mai. She wasn't eager to discuss feelings, or be a nag. She was eager to express her feelings in a very physical way, something which Zuko could appreciate. He was a physical kind of guy, never too keen on words, though occasionally he liked to speak his mind. He usually did at the wrong times, though. This time, though, he was blown off because he didn't share his thoughts and feelings with her as much. What was there to share? His life was no longer a pile of crap, so he no longer had anything to say really. Small talk wasn't his forte.

She wasn't having it, though. If that was how she felt then it was probably for the better.

Zuko didn't feel any better, and the weirdest thing about this predicament was that Zuko's recurring dream about pursuing Aang had come back. There were differences, though. He wasn't angry, or shouting, but he was still just as desperate to catch up. Another difference was that Aang no longer had his back turned toward Zuko, but rather he was facing Zuko. He had his hand outstretched, but every time Zuko jumped up to catch it he missed, and the ground beneath him crumbled and he fell along with it. This dream haunted him almost every other night, and after a month of the subconscious abuse he decided that he should probably have another chat with his uncle about this. Iroh seemed to know more about what his dream was trying to convey than he did. He had a sinking suspicion that the answer he found wouldn't be very easy to swallow, but he couldn't hope to run a nation without sorting out his own issues. That was a grave error that Azula made, and he just couldn't.

So he headed into the stable where Aang fed Appa every morning and greeted his friend. Aang was determined to tell him all about a new firebending technique one of the elders taught him. It involved condensing his fire into concentrated bullets of heat, and where it all sounded, well, awesome, Zuko was completely preoccupied with his destination. Also, seeing as Aang was the source of his discomfort, Zuko wasn't quite in the mood to be spending any time with him.

"Sorry to bring this up on such short notice," said Zuko, unable to look at Aang directly. "But can I borrow Appa for a few days?"

"Sure, buddy. What for? Want me to come along?" said Aang, giving Appa a few pats on the nose. In return he got a lick all the way up his shirt and head. Aang didn't really like to part with his bison, but there was no quicker way for Zuko to get into Ba Sing Se. He didn't have the free time to sail all the way to the Earth Kingdom by ship, then drag his hide all the way to Ba Sing Se by foot. Aang was good for it. Besides, Zuko was the one that provided Appa with a lot of free hay and warm shelter.

"I need to go talk to my uncle-" Zuko averted his gaze to the very... nice bison droppings in the corner. Make that too much free hay. "-alone. It's kinda personal."

"Oh." The sound of that "Oh" did nothing to ease how awkward Zuko felt at the moment.

"Oh what?"

"Nothing," said Aang, turning his back on Zuko. "Actually... forget it.

"Don't forget to let him rest. Appa isn't a machine. He gets tired after flying long distances."

"Wait a minute." Zuko reached out and put a hand of Aang's shoulder, just to have it shrugged off. He didn't know what this was all about, but suddenly Aang's mood wasn't so great. For whatever reason Mai wasn't talking to him now. Did he smell funny, or something? What was he doing to make everyone so mad at him? "What's your problem?"

"I said forget it!" said Aang, whirling around to face Zuko. The two of them stood nearly at eye-level. Zuko hadn't noticed how much Aang had grown in the last few years, but suddenly he felt very small. "Go! I guess whatever you have to say to your uncle can't be shared with me. It's not like I'm your best friend or anything."

"What are you talking about?" said Zuko, his gut starting to boil over with rage. Was it just him, or did he really not deserve to have those he cared most about gang up on him like this? More than ever he just wanted to go and see his uncle, a voice of reason, someone who was actually tolerant of him. He was tempted just to bite back, jeer at Aang for being childish and nosey, and for not cleaning up after his bison. The problem was that he just wasn't mad at Aang, quite the contrary. There wasn't a day in his life where he didn't need Aang, as both his avatar and his friend. Apparently Aang wasn't too happy being second to Iroh in terms of being trusted with Zuko's deepest thoughts and feelings, much like Mai apparently wasn't happy being second to Aang in terms of friendship. He just couldn't make anyone happy, could he?

"Look-" said Zuko, scratching the back of his head. This was getting really, really awkward. "I just want to talk to my uncle first, OK? It's complicated. I do owe you an explanation, though, but later. Please?"

Aang gave him a questioning look. Questions that Zuko didn't want to answer, or just didn't know how to answer. Luckily they were questions that Aang didn't voice. Instead he just sighed and smiled at Zuko.

"All right. Sorry I yelled at you. I am here, you know, if you need me."

"I know." Zuko smiled back and gave Aang's shoulder a squeeze. It was strange for him. Even after all they had been through Zuko didn't quite know how to have a friend. Azula was the one with the friends growing up, and all Zuko could do was tolerate them. Well, he didn't mind Mai of course, but that was different. She went from being Azula's friend to his girlfriend the moment he stepped foot back into the Fire Nation, but he supposed they never did develop that middle ground of friendship. That was too bad. He did genuinely enjoy Mai's company.

Having a friend, though, like Aang. Zuko still didn't know what to make of it. He felt like there was something missing, and his dreams were trying to tell him what exactly. He couldn't figure it out, and he doubted Aang would be able to either. What's more, part of him feared that Aang would take it the wrong way and leave him. More than anything, Zuko didn't want that.

"I'll be back soon. Take care.

"Yip yip."

And with that, Zuko took off.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Zuko tried not to get too lost in thought on the journey to Ba Sing Se, but the billowing wind stinging his ears and knotting his hair did only so much to distract him. His rear end was never more cramped, and back never more stiff. He never had traveled on Appa long distance without someone to keep him company. Usually that someone was on the reigns. With nothing but his sores and his boredom he couldn't keep his mind from wandering.

So Zuko did what he did best. He sighed and mulled over the details of his life that haunted him most. He thought of his mother, unsatisfied with Ozai's cruel answer concerning her whereabouts. Apparently she was put on a real exile boat in the middle of the sea just outside of Fire Nation territory without so much as the clothes on her back. Anything could have happened to her, but she was most likely dead. He wondered if his dreams concerned her rather than Aang. Dreams weren't meant to be taken at face value, and as unlikely as her survival was he couldn't bring himself to even think that she may be dead. He loved her more than anything. He would die believing that she was somehow alive and safe if he never could lay eyes on her.

With those thoughts on a rampage Zuko could feel his throat begin to clamp and ache, and with no one around to see him he allowed his tears to fall freely. Why was it that his dreams were projecting her through Aang? He didn't understand the connection. He didn't even know if there was a connection. Even so, it was a possibility. He couldn't deny that.

Then his mind took a turn toward his father, a man bent on causing hell for Zuko, even now. He couldn't understand what Ozai's problem was. For as long as he could remember Zuko did his best to please his father, and all he got was shame. He couldn't master fire bending as fast as Azula. He couldn't speak his mind in the presence of anyone, aside from his mother and uncle. He was never praised by this man under anything but false circumstances, and barely remembered when their family was happy. Even from trips to Ember Island he couldn't remember his father's face, whether the man knew how to smile, or how to care. Even so, his father was his hero. He loved him. So why was it that Ozai became a monster? And why did it take Zuko so long to see that?

Had Zuko never been banished, would he have become a monster as well? Would he have never learned the truth about this war? Even now that he knows, would he really be able to change the hearts of the people in his country? Rebels aside, a fair number of people showed satisfaction with Zuko's rule, and his decision to pull out of the war and help rebuild the world.

The nobles weren't quite as happy. They didn't question his status, though. Clearly Fire Lord Ozai and Azula were unfit to be rulers, so given his lineage Zuko was the last one who could take the throne, traitor or not. However, nobles profited from the war by gaining land and gaining influence, so when Zuko took it away they were bitter. Very bitter. Mai's family only tolerated him because they assumed that she would marry him, thus enhancing their status more than ever. He couldn't imagine the grief Mai must have gotten when she said she broke it off, but that was her problem.

He was given the monumental task of pleasing the entire Fire Nation. He knew it would be his duty to take over some day, but he never imagined that he'd be ascending at the mere age of seventeen. His father was at least twice his age when he ascended. Even so, his uncle was right. The balance of the world meant more than the balance of the nobles' savings. Years went by, and so far no drastic measures were taken against him. He couldn't help but feel, though, that he kept falling short of decisions that pleased everyone. He didn't want to use his status to hush up people's concerns like his last three predecessors undoubtedly have, but it was getting to be a bit much.

He wondered if his constantly falling short in his nation was reflected in him always missing Aang's hand. After all, the dissatisfaction of Sozin was what took the Fire Nation into war in the first place. If he couldn't satisfy his people, would he end up being responsible for another war?

Zuko shook his head. Of course not. If Ozai, or any of his remaining followers issued a challenge then Zuko would snuff them all out, permanently if need be. He was fully prepared to see his father dead on the day of Sozin's comet, and Zuko would finish the job himself if it ever came to that. The Fire Nation was his everything. It was his job to solve all conflicts.

Including the ones within himself.

Zuko's trip to Ba Sing Se was an all day one, stopping once to let Appa get a drink of water and take a nap. First he fell back into the cold water, floating while gazing at the clouds. It was only a few months since the last time he had paid his uncle a visit, but it felt much longer. Between his break up with Mai and the confusing new dreams he was having about Aang, Zuko was almost as lost as he was during the war. Once again he felt like the answer he was looking for was staring him right in the face, yet he still wasn't great at seeing what was right before his eyes. Solve one problem to encounter more. Life was nothing but problems, wasn't it?

He hopped back on to Appa and regretted ever having jumped in that water once they got going. He would have made a fire in his palms to keep him warm if he weren't busy clutching the reigns. Ba Sing Se was only a few hours away. His uncle had hot tea and a heated baths with Zuko's name written all over them, granted he didn't freeze to death. At the very least he had a new problem to focus on, but as he got used to the cold and the altitude he thought of everyone and Mai back in the Fire Nation. Despite the doom and gloom Mai was pretty popular with the guys. Zuko noticed every single, solitary man that ever laid eyes on Mai and it irritated him. It's like, hello, Fire Lord's girlfriend. Ogling the Fire Lord's girlfriend was generally met with pain, but lucky for those jerks Zuko was merciful, a trait he shared only with his uncle. Good thing Azula wasn't the one born a guy.

Mai probably found another man. Probably found him while Zuko was tending to his duties. In that case their relationship would seem questionable. It wasn't like Zuko intended to ignore her, or to make their relationship a nighttime tryst of sorts. It just happened. That didn't mean he didn't care about her. When he was a kid she was one of the only friends he had. Then there was his mom. Yeah, pretty sad assortment of friends, though he supposed that's what being the prince did. He was just famous enough that normal kids would rather bow before him and revel in his presence than play with him, but he was just enough of a failure to be ignored by his father and picked on by his sister. When his mother disappeared and his father was made king of the Fire Nation, Zuko was even more lonely. Azula came to his room every night alluding to her death in any way she could until Zuko had grown angry enough to punch a fireball the size of the doorway toward her. She could have blocked it, but their uncle Iroh did instead. Afterward she ran off giggling, and his uncle entered his room. Zuko tried to shoo him away, but whatever shallow insult he had came out as a weak sob and bitter tears.

He shouldn't have let Azula get to him. She was cold and cruel and knew how to get under his skin. He knew that. He KNEW it. He knew Azula was just trying to upset him, and all he could do was cry, because it worked. For some reason his father favored her over him. She was the gifted prodigy, and he was just the failure. His mother tried to tell him that he wasn't a failure, and his uncle helped him train, but of course that was useless. Zuko once thought his uncle Iroh a failure, despite all that he knew. All that he had experienced. In truth, Iroh should have been in the seat his father was in, but he failed. He failed. He was a failure. Zuko cried himself to sleep while his uncle tucked him in and sang him a song. He allowed himself to be comforted by a failure, because he, too, was a failure. By any means Zuko was willing to become as strong, if not stronger than Azula. He would be worthy of his title, a great hero of the Fire Nation. It was his destiny. He wouldn't be brought down by anything or anyone.

Zuko blinked himself awake after that, not quite sure when he had dozed off or how, given that he was frozen solid. Still, he could see Ba Sing Se in the distance now, and a scalding hot bath and a hot cup of tea was calling his name. He had never been more excited to get a cup of his uncle's tea actually, but he supposed that's what being frozen did to a guy.

"Yip yip."

Appa sped his pace, and before they knew it they had flown over the walls of Ba Sing Se. The avatar's flying bison was a familiar sight to behold, so those guarding the wall paid it no heed. The citizens were probably disappointed to see the gloomy old Fire Lord dressed like a commoner rather than the upbeat avatar, but they would just have to live with it.

Zuko was a hero, too. He called off troops occupying every single solitary bit of land that bore the Earth Kingdom insignia before his father had them conquered. That didn't mean some Earth Kingdom citizens weren't weary of him. The Fire Nation being a power hungry war house had been conditioned into their every day thinking since birth, or in the case of Ba Sing Se, since its fall. Aang told him stories of the capitol's ignorance, and Zuko thought that was a positively abysmal way to defend against the enemy. He would know. He spent his life lying to himself, trying to convince himself that what his father was doing was just and courageous. Ignorance was the difference between life and death; who you are and who you're not. Zuko could no longer accept ignorance.

So he set Appa in a stable made especially for him next to his uncle's tea shop, and before he could go in his uncle had come out with a great big smile on his face. He might have expected the avatar, but unlike most people he wasn't disappointed by what he found instead.

"Zuko, my nephew," said Iroh, not hesitating to throw his arms around Zuko. His clothes were mostly dry by then, but he was still chilled to the bone. Iroh didn't seem to mind one bit, though. He was always happy to see Zuko. "You are just in time for another round of Pai Sho, and there will be song and dance this evening."

"Uh, great," said Zuko, scratching the back of his head. "I kinda came here to talk, though."

"Is that so?" Iroh patted him on the back. "There will be plenty of time for that, but first you must relax. You have had a long journey."

Iroh wasn't ready to speak to Zuko until much later that evening, which was understandable. He had a business to run, though his business mostly consisted of singing, tea making, and Pai Sho playing. After a long hot bath and a nap Zuko had come out of the guest bedroom and helped himself to a cup of his uncle's best tea. It was refreshing to feel warm after such a cold journey. He didn't know how residents of the water tribe could stand all of the cold, though it wasn't worth putting much thought into.

He thought that it might be enough for him to see his uncle for awhile, and that would solve, well, absolutely nothing, but at least he got to try these seaweed flakes that the old men said were to die for. They were pretty good, too, and went even better with the spiced tea. This feeling of warmth and contentment wouldn't last, though. If he didn't speak with his uncle he'd be just as miserable as he was before. The whole point of this excursion was to be able to talk.

He hadn't reminded his uncle of it once, but he closed shop early for Zuko's sake anyway. Then he took a quilt from the daybed in the corner and wrapped it around Zuko's shoulders. He normally didn't like to be treated like a kid, but if the gestures made his uncle happy then he would simply deal with them. Iroh poured him another cup of his favorite spiced tea and sat across from him, stroking his beard and probably thinking something Zuko would rather he didn't say. His uncle had strange thoughts sometimes, but he couldn't allow them to go off topic or anything. Zuko needed this. He needed to understand what he was dealing with.

"I am grateful that you would think to come so far to see me. Tell me what troubles you."

"Who said anything about trouble?" asked Zuko, though he had to admit that he wouldn't have shown up out of the blue in person if it were for anything positive, or trivial. Usually when he stopped by Ba Sing Se plans were made and friends would come. His duties pretty much tied him to the Fire Nation otherwise. There were still radical supporters of Ozai's ideals to keep an eye on. Also, he had a lot of damage to the Earth Kingdom to compensate for thanks to his ancestors. As long as Aang was there Zuko trusted that the Fire Nation was in good hands, though. Still, it was his job now and he didn't have time to squander.

"Nephew, if you have something on your mind you are free to speak. A precious few words can lift so much off of your shoulders."

"I know that!" said Zuko, slamming his cup down. After splashing hot tea all over his wrist he wiped off his arm with a napkin and sighed. "I know, but I don't know where to start."

"Then begin at the end," said Iroh, taking a sip of tea.

"At the end? What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's really quite simple, Zuko. There is a piece of knowledge that you want me to walk away from this conversation with. Start there, and all else will follow."

"All right." Zuko finished off his tea and gathered his thoughts. What was it that he needed Iroh to know above all else? Much of his turmoil was centered around his breakup with Mai, but he wasn't sure if Iroh gathering that little tidbit would do him any good. This wasn't the first time he and Mai split up. Heck, Zuko was quite good at being no good with women. He was easily frustrated and hurt and had a hard time focusing on others at times. Zuko knew this about himself, Mai knew it, and Iroh absolutely knew it, so he didn't want to focus on that point. Nothing else was coming to mind, though. He was tired and weary, ready for another nap. Maybe another tea.

This wasn't going anywhere. As usual, his uncle's advice confused him more than it helped.

"You're hesitant. Open up your mind. Clearly something is troubling you."

"I'm trying," said Zuko, threading his fingers in his bangs. He could start with the dreams he had been having about Aang, but that was just a side thing. It wouldn't have happened had Mai not broken up with him, especially if she hadn't put it in his head that she felt somehow "replaced" by Aang. That was ridiculous! She was his girlfriend. Aang was the avatar, his pupil, and his friend. Of course they were close. It was their duty to be close. As lord of the Fire Nation Zuko had to maintain the newly acquired balance to the world, and the way he did that was by staying on good terms with the avatar who maintained the balance.

That didn't explain Zuko's discomfort in relaying this information to Aang, rather than taking it almost halfway across the world to Ba Sing Se. It didn't explain why he was having dreams about pursuing the avatar, and it didn't explain his reluctance. He had come to Iroh for answers Zuko just couldn't formulate himself. This must have been what Iroh meant by beginning at the end. His life was great until his girlfriend dumped him, and then the dreams started. They were what brought him here. That was the problem he needed his uncle to know about.

"It's like this," Zuko started. "A few years ago, remember, when you and I were going after Aang?

"Well, those dreams are back, and recurring. I don't know what to make of them."

He went over the thoughts he had along the way. One, that Aang might have been a projection of his mother. Two, that Aang may have been a projection of what the Fire Nation really needed at this time. Or three, that Aang may have been a projection of Mai, someone he found he didn't quite understand. Those were the only things that he could make of these dreams, yet Iroh's apprehensive demeanor did nothing to ease his troubled mind.

"What is it, uncle? What am I not getting?" Zuko sprung from his seat, glaring down at the wise man desperate for answers. His body was practically on fire at this point. He was frustrated, nervous, but above all probably caught something unfortunate while riding a bison wet. He wiped off the sweat that prickled on his forehead and took a seat once his vision threatened to spin.

"Your dreams are what you make of them," said Iroh, pouring Zuko another cup of tea. Without so much as looking at it he clamped his eyes shut and buried the scarred side of his face into his hand. Suddenly the fire in him was becoming frozen once more. He could hardly focus. "Also, you are on the verge of becoming ill. This tea will help."

Zuko nodded and wrapped his hands around it. It did its part to counter the chill, but his discomfort was still on the rise.

"There must be another reason," said Zuko, his fingers twitching along his mug. "I didn't come all the way out here to be told something so vague!"

"Very well," said Iroh, stroking his beard and smirking just the slightest bit. "You forgot to consider one thing, Zuko. What if it's not your mother, your father, or Mai that you are chasing? Have you considered that it may be Aang himself that you're after?"

Zuko nearly choked on his tea hearing that.

"What are you talking about, uncle? I'm through trying to capture the avatar. You know that!"

"Indeed. You are through trying to take him prisoner, but are you pursuing him in a different way, perhaps?"

Before he could fall back on a reaction that he was comfortable with, Zuko blacked out. With five lifetimes worth of stress, exhaustion, and frustration weighing him down he would finally get some well deserved rest. Perhaps his dreams would finally make some sense.

TBC


End file.
